writing lesson / Topic-Time

流石に切羽詰まってきています。しかし、勉強進まなーい！もうすぐ英検なのでNancy先生にライティングのチェックをしてもらうことにしました。なので、今回のレッスン中はもーずーーっと、チェックしてもらうだけなのでほぼほぼ話すことはなく終了（汗）。

お題は、オンラインスクールのmytutorさんの英文添削サービス「添削くん」の体験レッスン用チケットをゲットできたので、そこのお題を使わせてもらいました。ここは英語教員資格を持った講師が『ITセンターから』オンライン英会話というのが売りのmytutorさんです。もちろん、mytutorさんのバナーも貼っておく。添削の体験ちゃんとしています。

[ mytutorさんの添削してもらった記事 ]
about-english.hatenadiary.jp

お題：高校で海外旅行へ連れて行くべきかどうか。

行くべき。ざっくりと理由は海外の人との交流は将来役に立つ。きっとこの経験が自分の勉強する意義がわかって勉強一生懸命するんじゃないの？というプラン。

私のかいた文：

I agree with Japanese high schools should take their students on trips abroad. I have two reasons why I think so.

First of all, high school students have to make sense different culture. Because, in the future, they have to guess to work with many foreigners. These experience should be helpful to them at some future.

Also, they would notice the necessary skills. For instance, language and communication is important. Therefore they will be able to study a lot with enthusiasm.

For all the reasons above, I believe that Japanese high schools should take their students on trips abroad.

Nancy先生の文：かっこは言い回し例

I agree that Japanese high school students should take trips abroad.
(I agree with the view that Japanese high schools should take their students on trips abroad.) (I agree with the people that believe Japanese high schools should take their student on trips abroad.) I have two reasons why I believe trips abroad are not only necessary but a great idea. (I have two reasons why trips abroad would beneficial.)

First of all, high school students need to make sense of different cultures.
The reason why is because, in the future, I believe they may work with many foreigners. With the popularity of the internet, cultural interactions have increased. The world seems to be getting smaller and smaller as far as distances are concerned. Travelling abroad will help them gain valuable experience in dealing with different cultures.

Also, they gain necessary skills in languages and in communicating well. Therefore, I think they will study with more enthusiasm than before if they have the first-hand experience in dealing with different cultures from their travels.

For all the reasons above, I believe Japanese high schools should take their students on trips abroad.

Nancy先生は長くなったから調整してねと言われたので調整後：

I agree that Japanese high school students should take trips abroad. I have two reasons why trips abroad would beneficial.

First of all, high school students need to make sense of different cultures. The reason why is because, in the future, I believe they may work with many foreigners.

Also, they gain necessary skills in languages and in communicating well. Therefore, I think they will study with more enthusiasm than before if they have the first-hand experience in dealing with different cultures from their travels.

For all the reasons above, I believe Japanese high schools should take their students on trips abroad.